{hands full of happiness}: The Stockings are Hung

The Darndest Things

C (Explaining to Eli and Si school fire drills): You have to go outside, and you can't talk, because, if you open your mouth, you will get fire in it.

Silas (at the Costco fountain pop machines): I want BEER!!!

Me (while dousing the hot dogs in ketchup): What? Did you say you wanted beer?

Silas: Yes.

Me: It's called ROOT beer, Silas. We don't drink beer. (Loud enough for all to be assured that my 4 year old doesn't drink beer.)

Silas: I call it BEER!

Silas: Mum, you got borned some really awesome kids!

Jared: Silas, come here.
Silas: Me no Silas, me Si-la-guy!

Silas (pointing to bone on the side of his ankle): Mommy, rock. in. my. foot.
Me: It's not a rock, it's a bone.
Silas (incredible distressed): Oh no! Mommy, BONE in my foot!

Silas (when the sun went behind a cloud and the room got darker): Mommy, dark?
Me: Ya, the sun just went behind a cloud.
Silas, very sad: Mommy, me miss da sun.

Silas (At 1:30 in the morning after he has been sleeping terrible due to a stuffed nose): Uh oh
Me: What, is your nose broken?
Silas: Yup, two them broken.

Me (at dinner time): Eli, have you been wearing your t-shirt on backwards all day.
Eli (without skipping a beat): No, but I've been wearing my underpants on backwards all day.

Eli (the first time he sat in his brand new, ridiculously expensive but totally safe car seat): It's like way comfortabler. It's like a pile of clouds I'm sitting on.

Eli: I know why the world turns. It's because the sun is so hot, and the world is a guy, and it doesn't like being so hot, so it turns around all the time to cool off.

Eli: You know that stuff in your eye? It's Jell-o, and it can see stuff. I know, because I touched it.

Eli: There's a skeleton inside my body that talks to me and tells me all the things that are good.

Me: Eli, pull up your underpants, it's not polite to walk around with a bare bum.
Eli: I don't have a bare bum, mum.
Me: What exactly would you call it?
Eli: A person bum.

Eli: Mum, will you button my pants and pull up my...um... bug?

Eli: Silas is such a little "Duke-ter." Me: What's a Duke-ter, Eli. Eli: Someone who eats all the 'Mo' so I can't have any.

Eli: Why is there toilet paper all over the yard. Me: 'Cause dumb teenagers didn't bother to find out if Auntie Phoebe was home or not, and now we have to clean it up. Eli: Grandma's going to be really mad. Let's eat them alive: crush their bones and drink their blood. (I promise, I don't know where he got that one.)

Eli (when I was wearing a dress that kind of makes me look preggers): Mommy, your 'mo' looks ugly when you have sisters in your tummy.

24 December 2011